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Save the House, Don’t Run

August 13, 2020
August 14, 2020
PITIK-BULAG: Save the House, Don’t Run
In our present age, more and more people are questioning the Church’s position against divorce. And yet, when the Church insists on the indissolubility of the Sacrament of Marriage, it is not because she does listen to the people’s woes who are unhappy with their marriage, but because she wants to protect the sanctity of marriage. To give another chance to your partner and to your vows.
This is basically the point of Jesus in our gospel today. He wanted to remind everyone that God even at the beginning had already desired that married couples should stick together for the rest of their lives. The genuine grace of marriage is in our persistence to fight for it. Unfortunately, the desire for divorce becomes an easy way out to many who are so quick to ignore their marriage vows without the effort of saving their marriage. The Church sees that divorce becomes a quick “fire escape” without exerting great effort to save the burning house.
In our gospel today, aside from their desire to trap Jesus and put Him in big trouble, the Pharisees wanted to convince the people of the validity of their teaching with regard to divorce. But the Lord was the champion of protecting the sacredness of marriage vows. He believed in the words, “To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.” This is a solemn vow between two people who committed themselves to remain as one flesh for the rest of their lives.
The problem here is not merely on making divorce legal. But the couple’s inability to really seek a solution or fix their marriage. THE THROWAWAY CULTURE AND PAIN AVOIDANCE INFLUENCE US. If I don’t need it, throw it away and find something new. If the good feeling is no longer there, then seek a new partner. If my life becomes miserable with my partner, then find someone that will make me happy. If I find a better partner, goodbye to you. Why save my married life, if I don’t love my partner anymore? Seek a better partner. Why should I stay in this miserable life, if I can make myself happy with someone? We have lost our commitment to our vows … “for poorer … for worst … till death do us part.” Thus, we seek divorce as our easy solution from our responsibilities, from saving our vows, and from protecting the sacredness of marriage.
Consider the following points for your reflection.
1. TWO PERSONS BUT ONE FLESH. Marriage binds husband and wife spiritually. They are no longer one but two. Thus, to hurt my partner is to hurt myself. The couple must always desire to protect their vows from any temptations and challenges. Their commitment to marriage is not a matter of having good feelings for each other, but a commitment to stay with one another, whatever is the cost. It is the responsibility of the couple to dutifully protect their union. “For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”? 6So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” (Matthew 19:5-6).
2. NO ONE SHOULD SEPARATE THE COUPLE. God said, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. (Matthew 19:7).” This is God’s commandment, not of the Church. Thus, the couple should strive hard to protect their relationship against anyone or anything that will destroy their union of hearts and minds. The evil loves putting gaps between couples.
“It was because you were so hard-hearted that Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but in the beginning, it was not so.” (Matthew 19:8).
3. SEEK THE WELFARE OF YOUR PARTNER. Be selfless. Seek always the welfare of your partner, not yours. Seeking one’s interests and happiness is the main enemy of the union of hearts and hearts. Our commitment to our marriage vows is a commitment to our desire to make him or her happy and our family. Marriage is not all about my happiness, but the happiness of others. In doing so, together with my partner, we found our happiness and fulfillment together.
When the Pharisees insisted on Moses allowing divorce, Jesus said, “Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning, it was not so. (Matthew 19:5).
We don’t like pain, conflicts, and sacrifices. When these things come in our marriage life, our tendency is to run away. We seek quick-fix solutions and shortcuts to ease our pain. Running way becomes the best option. Where is our commitment? Our commitment must not be founded on feelings but on our decision to stay when the house is burning, and find ways to save the house.
Are you hurting now in your married life? The key to unity is forgiveness. We should not harbor resentment in our hearts. To forgive your partner from his or her faults is to save your marriage. Don’t give up your vows. Fight for it. Don’t allow your emotions to decide on your marriage. Go beyond your feelings. Forgive. Think of your children. Think of God who commands us to carry our daily crosses. Don’t quit. There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage. Don’t think of looking for someone will make you happy. Check yourself first. The fault lies in both of you.
When the house is on fire, don’t run. Save it.
– Pitik-Bulag
August 14, 2020 – Friday
Gospel Reading: Matthew 19: 3-12

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