Not Now, Not Yet Lord.
A TALE OF TWO GIVERS
May 9, 2021
Ang Espiritu ng Katotohanan.
May 22, 2021PITIK-BULAG: Not Now, Not Yet Lord.
The ultimate goal of our life is to do the will of God. This is our vocation – the essence of our personhood. It is deeply embedded in our spiritual DNA, waiting to be discovered. To know and fulfill God’s calling would bring us to the fullness of life and happiness. But responding to the inner call is not easy, it would demand a lot of letting go, embracing suffering, painful sacrifices, transcending fears, facing our shadows, battling our weaknesses, leaving our comfort zones, and taking some risks.
Like the disciples, we don’t dare to ask, “Lord, where are you going?” (John 16:5). For we don’t want to hear His invitation, “Come and follow me.” (Matthew 4:19). Following Jesus requires walking in his less traveled path – that is, doing God’s will. We know His will – what we ought to do. But unfortunately, we’re not yet ready to face our fear, let go of the things dear to us, or face the consequence of following our heart’s desires.
The call is clear in our hearts, but we keep on delaying our response. We don’t have the courage to face our personal vocation. Some are not yet ready to be criticized, to fail, to be left behind, to be alone, to be criticized, or to be wounded. Thus, we remain floating, restless, confused, and lost – for we have ignored the invitation of Jesus to walk with Him.
Saint Ignatius of Loyola, in his Spiritual Exercises, would insist on asking his retreatants to name their inordinate attachments. In reality, these things that we cannot let go of are the ones that stop us from executing the will of God. We say, not now Lord. For we are not yet ready to let go of our inordinate attachments. And the more we hold on to these things, the more we find ourselves trapped. Name your inordinate attachments. Ask the Lord to give you the courage to let go of them. Spiritual freedom awaits us.
Stop for a while. Imagine yourself in front of Jesus who looks at you. Ask Him, “Where are you going?” Hear his reply. Then, let Him ask you in return: “What about you? Where are you going?” What is your answer? Are you happy with it? Why?
Now read slowly the following words of Jesus: “Now I am going to the one who sent me … But I tell you the truth, it is better for you that I go. For if I do not go, the Advocate will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you.” (John 16:7).
Pause again. Relish the words. Pray to the Holy Spirit for courage and strength to follow God’s calling.
Consider the following thoughts of Parker Palmer:
“Vocation does not come from a voice “out there” calling me to become something I am not. It comes from a voice “in here” calling me to be the person I was born to be, to fulfill the original selfhood given me at birth by God. It is a strange gift, this birthright of self. Accepting it turns out to be even more demanding than attempting to become someone else.”
In this moment of Covid crisis, where do you think God is calling you? Have you ever asked God, where do you wish me to go? What do you want me to do? God wants us to be His presence to the people.
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Following Jesus is not a walk in the park. Expect lots of ups and downs, doubts and fears, anxieties and uncertainties. Trust the Lord. Leave all your worries to Him. Follow your heart’s greatest desire. You know what you ought to do. Pray for courage and do it.
Be true to yourself. Reclaim your birthright. Embrace your personal calling.
– Pitik-Bulag
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May 11, 2021 – Tuesday
