What is Your Deepest Desire?
Never Let Me Blink
July 24, 2020
Sell and Buy
July 26, 2020PITIK-BULAG: What is Your Deepest Desire?
The gospel today starts with Jesus moving up to Jerusalem. This is quite dramatic and symbolic knowing that Jerusalem will be the place of the Lord’s crucifixion. As Jesus steps closer to the city, he is steadily coming closer to his death to fulfill the will of the Father and save humanity. He will do everything, including embracing insults, humiliation, pain, wounds, and even death … for the sake of doing God’s will. This is his deepest desire. Thus, a step closer to Jerusalem is a step closer to self-emptying to BRING GREATER GLORY TO GOD’S NAME.
Yet, what we are about to see in the gospel was the spiritual blindness of the disciples, including the mother of James and John. Totally out her mind, she kneeled in front of Jesus to ask a favor. And the Lord gently accommodated her and asked, “What do you want?” (Matthew 20:21).
Jesus will ask the same question to a blind man later in the same chapter. And his answer was striking, “Lord, I want to see.” (Matthew 20:33). In the final analysis, this should also be the reply of the Disciples and to the mother of James and John, “Lord, I want to see.” For all of them were spiritually blind. Their own selfish desire for honor and glory in following and serving Jesus blinded them to see God’s will. They missed the point of discipleship. Discipleship is to become a servant of God’s will and not simply to gain honor and glory for walking side by side with Jesus.
1. HUMAN DESIRE. We have different reasons for following Jesus. Sad to say, like the mother of James and John, our selfish desires blinded us to see the main point of discipleship – to follow Jesus until the death for God’s greater glory.
The Lord is asking you, “What do you want?” What is your deepest desire in serving God and others? Is it to gain honor and glory for yourself? The disciples criticized the Mother and the two disciples for asking the highest posts of being at the side of Jesus because this was also their hidden desire.
2. PURIFICATION OF DESIRE. There’s no such thing as pure motivation in following and serving Jesus. Thus, our motivation or desire must be tested, purified, and transformed. And the only way to purify our motivation is by choosing to follow Jesus until death, to embrace pain, suffering, humiliation, and death for the sake of the Kingdom. And most of all, to be the servant of all.
“Whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant, 27and whoever wishes to be first among you must be your slave; 28just as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:26-27)
3. THREE DEGREES OF HUMILITY. In the gospel, the Lord showed great gentleness and compassion to the Mother of James and John. He slowly guided her to understand “greatness in God’s eyes” by telling her, “Whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant.” (Matthew 20:26).
Humility plays a very important role in discipleship. We don’t seek honor for ourselves, but God’s glory. We emptied ourselves to fill our hearts with God’s love. We let go of our human desire to be able to embrace God’s will.
Saint Ignatius of Loyola, in his Spiritual Exercises, proposed three levels of humility, or should we say, three levels of loving of God. Consider these three levels in your reflection.
1. First Degree. I want to please God in my life. Thus, I will try to avoid sins. I will be faithful in obeying the commandments of the Lord. This is summarized in the following prayer of Saint Ignatius: Prayer of Generosity
Lord:
teach me to be generous;
teach me to serve you as you deserve;
to give and not to count the cost;
to fight and not to heed the wounds;
to toil and not to seek for rest;
to labor and not to ask for reward,
except to know
that I am doing your will.
2. Second Degree. In the second level, I want to do more than merely obeying God’s commandments. Here, I pray for the grace of indifference. In other words, I am willing to be poor or rich, insulted or honored, or to have a long life or short life. I am indifferent. I am willing to choose any state of life for the sake of giving greater glory to God. This is summarized in the prayer of Saint Ignatius “Suscipe.”
Take, O Lord, and receive
all my liberty,
my memory,
my understanding, and
all my will,
whatever I have and possess.
All these things you have given to me.
All these things, O Lord,
I now place totally at your service.
All are yours to do with as you wish.
Assure me only of your love and your grace.
This will be enough for me.
3. Third Degree. The highest form of humility or loving God. Here, I am not contented on indifference. If both becoming poor or rich, being insulted or honored, long life or short life will equally give glory to God, I will choose to follow the poor Christ, being insulted and humiliated on the cross.
Where are you in these levels of humility? Would you desire the third degree of humility? Do you see the value of it? What stops you from choosing it?
What is your deepest desire? Is it Christ himself? Or the honor attached to following Jesus? We pray that God will continue to purify our motivation in following His Son. But let’s face the truth … the only way to follow Jesus is to embrace His cross and empty ourselves of our human desires. Then, in losing ourselves … we are glorified side by side with our Lord.
– Pitik-Bulag
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July 25, 2020 – Saturday
